Guybrush Threepwood is back in Return To Monkey Island, and he’s bringing all the same swagger and charm he’s had for the past thirty years. Once again, Guybrush is seeking to unearth the mysterious secret of Monkey Island, but his first major obstacle is hitching a ride there. He decides to sneak aboard the ship of his longtime nemesis, Captain LeChuck, but to do so he’ll need some special tools. Here’s everything you’ll need to know to join LeChuck’s crew.
How To Join LeChuck’s Crew
The first thing you’ll want to do is speak to the quartermaster on the docks outside LeChuck’s ship, which is located just behind the Scumm Bar. The quartermaster will list off all the open positions on the ship, but the only one Guybrush is qualified for is the swabbie. However, he’ll need to bring his own mop to earn the post.
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Furthermore, the quartermaster recognizes Guybrush and reveals that he’s been blacklisted by LeChuck. As long as Guybrush looks like himself, he’ll never get aboard LeChuck’s ship, so you’ll need to find a disguise to fool the quartermaster.
Building A Mop
Step one to building a mop is paying the cook of the Scumm Bar a visit. You can find him in the back room past the pirate leader’s table. He has a mop propped up in the corner of his kitchen, which you can admire or ask to borrow. It’s a fine mop, perfect for the job you need, but the cook won’t let you have it. He then goes on a very impassioned speech about the bond between man and mop before encouraging you to build your own mop.
He describes the kind of wood you’ll need with great reverence, but he’s not much help in actually identifying the specific type of wood or where you might be able to find it. You can also ask him about the head of the mop, which he says doesn’t really matter when compared to the handle. And wood comes from trees, so it stands to reason that the next stop will be the forest, right?
If you went to the forest first that’s all well and good, but the path through is impossible to navigate without a proper map. That’s where Wally comes in, the Map Maker who owns a shop on Low Street. If you pay him a visit, he’ll offer to draw a map leading to the mop tree if you can bring him a sample of the wood. While you’re here, grab both monocles in the free monocle box, as they’ll come in handy later.
Next, head across the street to the International House of Mojo and purchase the knife and Forgiveness Frog the Voodoo Lady is selling. They can be found on the counter near the cauldron. Both will be necessary to successfully pull off this wood heist.
Head back to the docks to Scumm Bar to find the cook scrambling to serve a nightmare customer who demands the finest of service. The customer is expecting a special dish he had at the governor’s mansion last week, but he can’t remember the name of the dish nor what was in it. All he can offer is that it had “ingredients.” There’s nothing you can do to help the cook now, and he won’t just let you cut off a piece of his mop while he’s watching.
Make Amends With Carla
Follow your next lead to the governor’s mansion past High Street. Carla, the governor, is an old crewmate of Guybrush’s, though they didn’t part on the best of terms. Mention that you need information on a dish that was served at her house last week, and she’ll engage you in a sword fight.
She knows the chef who made the dish you’re looking for, but the woman is in the middle of the ocean and won’t be back for weeks. Carl does have her cookbook, Ingredients, but Carla isn’t ready to let Guybrush borrow it from her quite just yet. She’s still miffed about his failure to return the last book he borrowed, and she won’t let him take another until he brings it back.
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That is unless you happen to give her a special frog that compels anyone to forgive you. Give Carla the Forgiveness Frog, and she’ll move past her grudge and allow you to take a book. Before grabbing the book though, talk to Carla about the stuffed dog near her bulletin board and she’ll let you take it. Snag Ingredients and the dog, then head back to Scumm Bar to save the cook.
The Fabled Mop Tree
Once at Scumm Bar, give Ingredients to the cook to set him up for success. He’ll get to work right away on the dish, which gives Guybrush the opportunity to take a piece of wood off the nearby mop. Use the knife to shave a thin slice of wood from the handle, then scoot back out to the docks and head over the Low Street.
Pay Wally one more visit to commission a map to the right kind of tree within the deep forest. Wally, being a professional, will draw up the map quickly and hand it over. You can open the map from the inventory menu, which shows the proper path through the forest to reach the fabled mop tree.
Head out of town and over to the forest, then make sure you stay firmly on the path from Wally’s map. After a few twists and turns, Guybrush will emerge into an idyllic clearing filled with woodland creatures and the most majestic tree you’ve ever seen. It’s a pastoral vision, untouched by the sullied hands of mankind.
This is the part where you take out the knife and hack the mop tree to pieces. Guybrush utterly destroys this thing, just chopping it down to the very stump. At one point there’s the sound of a chainsaw, which doesn’t even make sense considering. The woodland creatures are all horribly traumatized by the event, and the mop tree is irrevocably lost. But Guybrush has a mop handle now.
Putting It All Together
This last part is easy, especially if you grabbed the stuffed dog while visiting Carla’s mansion. The head of the mop isn’t important in the slightest, as long as it can work like a mop. So combine the mop handle and stuffed dog in your inventory to create a fully functional mop. Alternatively, you can also use a dried-up old sponge that you can find on the ground at Stan’s Previously Owned Vessels on the other side of the island. And that’s it! For the mop part, at least, there’s still the matter of a convincing disguise.
Building A Disguise
To properly hide Guybrush’s identity from LeChuck’s quartermaster, you’ll need to find John Laney’s eyepatch. It’s a rare, historical relic that allowed the famed pirate to slip unnoticed past enemy ships and government agents for years. At least, that’s the way the stories go. And it just so happens that Laney’s eyepatch is on Melee Island, located in the newly established museum in the island’s interior.
To successfully steal the eyepatch, though, requires a special set of tools. Namely, a pair of monocles, an expert locksmith, and a pile of crackers. Fortunately, all of these can be easily found at the port if you know where to look.
If you’ve already grabbed the monocles from Wally’s shop on Low Street, you’re ahead of the game. If not, head on over and pick both of them up from the box near his counter. Go into your inventory and combine them to form a double monocle that can help Guybrush read small text, such as the serial numbers found on locks.
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Leave town and head to the museum located in the interior of the island. The curator will tell you about the collection of objects inside, many of which have personal significance to Guybrush. In the center of the room is a locked display case featuring John Laney’s eyepatch. Nearby is a guard parrot that will alert the curator of any attempted thievery.
Use the double monocle to read the serial number of the lock on the display case. Guybrush will copy the number down on a piece of paper, at which point you can safely leave the museum. Head back to High Street and enter Lock Smith’s ship opposite the jail.
Building a Key
Lock Smith, the proprietor of the local locksmith shop, is a no-nonsense kind of woman. She won’t let you use her magnifier or play with her key grinder, but she will make a key if you give her the proper serial number. Hand over the slip of paper with the museum display case’s number on it and she’ll fire up the grinder for Guybrush.
Before leaving her shop, ask Lock about the crackers on her display counter. She’ll tell you there for her parrot, though the bird doesn’t seem all the interested in eating them. You can then ask her if you can have some, to which she’ll say yes. These will be necessary for distracting the museum’s guard parrot later.
With the crackers and key in hand, head back to the museum. Feed the crackers to the guard parrot to safely distract the bird, then use the key on the display case lock to open it. Snatch the eyepatch out of the display case while the curator isn’t looking (he’s always pretty distracted), then abscond with your ill-gotten loot.
Note, the museum will turn into a crime scene after this, making it inaccessible to Guybrush. Peruse the various relics inside before staging the heist, as you won’t get another chance later.
Do You Believe In Magic?
John Laney’s eyepatch was said to bestow its wearer with an impenetrable disguise, but this object seems like just any old eyepatch. You can try and wear it to slip past LeChuck’s quartermaster, but she’ll just turn you away. In its current state, Laney’s eyepatch isn’t doing a good enough job to hide Guybrush’s appearance. It needs a little bit of magic.
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Take the eyepatch to the International House of Mojo on Low Street and present it to the Voodoo Lady. She’ll recognize the magical power it once possessed, though the magic within has drained away over time. She throws the eyepatch in her cauldron along with a few other ingredients and renews the eyepatch’s magical ability. It now glows with a sickly green light, and when Guybrush puts it on he turns into a zombified version of himself.
With the mop and eyepatch, you can now head back to LeChuck’s ship. Make sure to equip the eyepatch before walking too far down the dock, and present your mop to the quartermaster to earn your place on the crew. Guybrush clambers aboard the ship and the next leg of his journey begins.
Return to Monkey Island is available now for the Nintendo Switch and Steam.